You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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