we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
