okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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