it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize