i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
