So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't think brook has ever known best
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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