Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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