hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
