I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
