Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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