i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
