I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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