If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
