you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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