haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
