I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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