Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
