We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
