im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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