11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
