he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
