is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
