His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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