I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
