You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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