I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
