if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
