the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
