as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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