so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
