I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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