You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
