We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
