you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Randomize
