You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
