I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
