i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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