You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
