so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
