I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He has the fingertips of a God
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