no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
