He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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