not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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