I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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