its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
