Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
