we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
