I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
