It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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