I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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