You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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