I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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