No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
