so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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