Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
