there's paper in my vomit.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
