"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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