I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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