Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
