the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
