dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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