it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
