All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize