i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Randomize
