...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
