Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
